So as a newly minted Adult,* I’m trying to work on Being Healthy. So far, this has meant a few things, like learning to cook quinoa and diligently copying my neighborhood yoga studio’s class schedule into my Google calendar. And while I have eaten (and loved!) said quinoa, I have yet to motivate myself to get out of bed an hour early for that 7:00 AM vinyasa class. The stationary bike we ordered from Amazon turned out to be unavailable, so we have to pick another one we like, and our new blender has arrived but we’re out of fruit to make smoothies.**
But! I do have vitamins. Oh, do I have vitamins. I have a half-consumed bottle of some sort of “women’s blend” vitamins as well as a completely unopened package of Wegmans brand prenatal vitamins.*** So since swallowing a pill is so much easier, more instant-gratification-ier,* I have been diligently swallowing a rather sizable, unpleasant-smelling pill every evening after dinner. What then follows is me lying in bed, laptop on my chest, poking and prodding at my poor abdomen while whining about my stomachache.
As I often do when presented with a problem like this, I took to Facebook last night to bellyache (heh) about my condition. I was surprised when my friends’ responses took on two separate camps: ooh-that-sucks-you’re-sensitive-to-iron vs. dude-vitamins-are-total-bullshit-they-don’t-do-anything. And while I like to think I am healthily skeptical, I am pretty crunchy in general (in case the quinoa/yoga talk didn’t tip you off), and like to feel like my body will thank me for putting natural, magical (albeit mysterious and possibly useless) things into it. It’s like when I do my taxes: I don’t understand them, but I have faith that the government will give me money back, simply because I deserve it.****
So, down goes another heinous tummy-ache tablet, with a nice quinoa chaser. Here’s to my health!
*as a former high school English teacher, I hereby declare myself allowed to break the Rules of Random Capitalization (or any other spelling or grammar rules) for my own personal amusement.
**another thing to work on as an Adult: going grocery shopping more than once every six weeks or so.
***yes, I bought prenatal vitamins even though I wasn’t anywhere near being pregnant. I was trying to grow my hair out. And also maybe this was when I was in Rochester visiting my best friend and her newborn daughter. And maybe I also bought a copy of What to Expect Before You’re Expecting. Maybe.
****So far this faith has gone unrewarded.