NOTE: I promise, dear blog, that I will not let the fact that Instagram is now (FINALLY) available for Android come between us.
Speaking of which, let’s talk photos (and some other things).
In case you didn’t know, my parents are professional photographers,* and have been photographing weddings for pretty much my entire life. What this meant was that my sister and I were never lacking for wedding photos to ogle. I certainly went through various wedding-fantasizing stages, but when it came time for me to do it for real, we ended up with something low-key, low-stress, and very much our own. (Our centerpieces were board games; we began the ceremony with high-fives, and I dyed a streak of my hair to be my “something blue.” )
Also, our friends and family were a huge part of the wedding. Our cupcakes were made by a baking-savvy friend; my mom sewed our chuppah (which ended up being more of a backdrop due to the wind!); my dad wrote and recorded the song he and I danced to. We had a close friend perform our ceremony, thanks to Massachusetts’ one-day marriage designation. Not to brag, but basically, we have awesome friends who helped make it an awesome day. And this is kind of how I see marriage in general. It doesn’t make sense for us (and, I’d argue, a lot of people) to retreat into seclusion and close ourselves off to the rest of the world now that we’re married. It’s not that we’re not a team–we are–but I see it more as a smaller unit,** encircled by bigger ones. Maybe it’s the crunchy, vaguely Commie hippie in me speaking, but I just don’t think we’re meant to live cut off from each other. It takes a village, et cetera. Our family and friends aren’t any less important to us now that we’re married.
So now, my younger sister is planning her wedding.*** In less than three weeks, almost exactly three years after I got married, she’ll be creating a new little circle all her own, with her and Brandon (or, as I’ve come to call him, FUTUREBROTHER) as its nucleus. Around that little circle will be bigger ones, with her family, both biological and the one they’ve created from friends. I got to meet some of them this weekend at my sister’s bachelorette party, and I can now say with conviction that these circles are made up of some genuinely wonderful friends.
Or maybe it’s not quite a circle. Maybe it’s a web, or one big crazy connect-the-dots, with lines drawn here and there, from me to my sister to my husband to my mom to you and back. The more tangled, the better – because that’s what makes it strong. We all need each other.
So what am I getting at here? Let’s see. Marriage is big. And it’s frustrating, and wonderful, and maddening, and joyful, and three years into it I can hardly claim to know a darn thing about it. But I do know this: having a network of people is important. It’s like a big nest, made up scraps of this and that, where a fledgling family of two can be safe and warm and supported.
And I love knowing that my sister and I are now pieces in each other’s brand-new nests.
*And damn good ones, at that.
**May I never grow out of giggling at the word “unit.”
***And she’s blogging about her nearlywed status, too!